But according to the UK Metro, this is precisely what happened, as Lee Jin-gyu has made a body pillow his bride.
This isn't the time to go into a "If a man in Korea can marry a pillow, how is gay marriage still..." tirade. This is a time to just let your jaw hit the floor and bask in the ridiculousness of this happening. (Plus, it's not like he married a Robert Pattinson pillow. That'd be gay. Clearly the guy prefers female pillows, as he printed a busty anime character on the side.)
If you're dying to see the happy newlyweds in action, here's a look at their day at the amusement park. You must be this crazy to ride the roller coasters.