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By all Means... MARRY!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. -- David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -- Dumas

The great question which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want? -- Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -- Anonymous

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -- Henny Youngman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -- Sam Kinison

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't. -- Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...  -- Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. -- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. -- Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." -- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." -- Anonymous