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Twenty flowers for a Ghost

This post is dedicated to my family and my friends who I also consider them my second family.

So... in two hours, I say good bye to the last of my teen years. I never thought it will be so emotional to grow up. It has never occurred to me that these two hours will be as hard as they actually are. I know I shouldn't be writing this, and study instead for my huge final tomorrow, but I don't really want to spend these last to hours studying. I just wish I was with my family right now.

Tomorrow marks half of my youth. You do not realize this until you hit the mid-point, and sometimes you don't even realize this until its too late.

Today marks the last day of my past, the last days for me as a ghost. Today marks the last day of me observing this world, and start taking action.

These twenty years, I've been running from something, down a road that's leading nowhere. I am a ghost haunting a house, haunting your dreams, haunting my life.

Its feels like a ship I'm sinking with my bare hands, and when the night falls around me, the ship is in the dock again.

The only thing that I've learned so far is that life gives you crap with lemons on a silver plate, and that my goal in life is to deal with the crap and find its brighter side. I know its a rather depressing way to start a new decade, but I took a plane to somewhere out in space to start a life and maybe change the world. I don't want have to crawl anymore, I don't want to have to go alone anymore... See, my head aches from all this thinking, fels like a ship God, God knows, I'm sinking. I wonder what to do? and where to stay? These questions like a whirlwind, they carry me away.

So who will bring me flowers for my ghost's grave? and who will give me comfort when it’s cold? who will I belong to when the day just won't give in? and who will tell me how it ends and how it all begins?

I thank God everyday that I have friends like you, that I have family like you, for the road that brought me here was very rocky, and I am tempted to send this to the lost souls of the friends I have lost along the way, but I will have to think about that again in the morning when I am fully conscious about my actions. I am only human.

With your presence in my life, I know I won't disappear with my good intentions, and I am rest assured that by tonight there will be twenty flowers.. twenty flowers on the grave of the ghost of my lost soul.