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Breakdown of Typical AUB Students

After four years of studying at AUB, I think it's time to breakdown a list of typical AUB students that you are bound to meet here:
  • The Westies: are students who have nothing better to do in life but sit outside and around West Hall and socialize 24/7. Some of them even come as early as 7:00 AM even though their first class doesn't start before 2:00 PM..
  • The Fiskies: are usually the weird English/Philosophy students who hang out outside Fisk Hall and are very culture-oriented. By that, I mean afro hairdos, weird facial hair, slippers, and I'm fairly certain they are high on something other than knowledge. (Also know as the hippies)
  • The Zoo-keepers: are the students who basically live in the area known as the "zoo" which is a small park area facing the AUB cafeteria where they hang out to smoke, cluster, and discuss one-sided politics.
  • The sunbathers: are the students who skip classes to lay down on green oval and get tanned when the sun it out. They are usually wearing very short shorts/bikinis and are very touchy with their boy friends/girl friends/same-sex partners.
  • The premeds: are the people whose souls revolve around becoming a doctor. They eat books, drink books and sleep books. They also have common phrases such as: "Oh shit, I didn't count how many times the professor sneezed in today's lecture, do you think he will ask about that in the exam?"
  • The Cafet Frenchies: "omelette du fromage!! OMELETTE DU FROMAGE!" (link)
  • The couples: these come in a variety of shapes, sizes and characteristics. The most common ones are the ones who are stuck at the hips (or possibly the lips), take all their courses together (even though they are of different majors) and do not miss a chance to play "bunny rabbit copulation" behind bushes or in random places around campus. These people need to learn how to get a room.
  • The celebrities/sons or daughters of celebrities: who arrive to campus with their Ferraris or Lexuses or by their daddy's private chauffeurs (if they even bothered to remember that they had class) and are followed by groupies who worship the ground they walk on. These range from 15-minutes of fame singers/actors/inventors to sons and daughters of crappy notorious politicians.
  • The internationals: and they come in two distinct categories: the intellectuals who want to learn everything about the middle eastern culture from the food to the swear-words. The second category are the show-off internationals who compare everything to their home country and say that everything there is much better. Ex: the water taste weird here, I should have brought water with me from [insert country name] OR I used to crap much more in [country name] than I do here.
  • The graphic-designers: "B*tch Puh-leez why are you looking at me like that, you know that I'm much better than you! I've got style"
  • The campus icons: who are all over the place, know everyone, and have possibly been in AUB for the last decade.
  • The political whores: who think and dream about their political figures all day and night long and have to parade about them in front of our faces even if it is nowhere near election season. Even worse than the political whores are the political zombies who are brainwashed to the extent that they have to include their political leader in every conversation they have with anyone.
  • The attention whores: who do anything to attract people's attention - from a face tattoo to bright red hair to wearing a superman cape.
  • The anti-social bookworms: are people who have managed to make 0.3 friends because all they do is attend class, go directly home and study. These people truly do not really experience the true university experience.
  • The over-achievers: who are usually in over their heads, juggling classes, every kind of extra-curricular activity available and sleep all at once until everything starts crumbling down by midterms.
  • The under-achievers: they do not give a banana-peel about anything going on, usually sit in the back of the class, play with their overpriced phones and stare blankly into the ceiling.
  • The clubbers: who claim (in a trashy magazine) that they spend $500 per week on clubbing and show up drunk or hungover to class.
  • The business students (aka blondies): who as stereotypical as it might seem actual strain their mind by trying to calculate 1+2 for finance class.
  • The blackberry addicts: are people who's faces are glued to their blackberries (or other smart phones) all the time. You cannot even have a proper conversation with them because they will be spacing out every time their phone pings. 
  • The teacher's pets: who enjoy spending time at their professors office everyday before class, after class and coffee breaks, kiss up to them during class and won't say no if they were offered to clean their homes for them.
  • The main-gaters: whose sole purpose in life is to sit on a bench on Main Gate and play cards until they miraculously pass their courses or their father's money runs out (whichever comes first).
  • The religious tight-asses: who do not speak to you or befriend you because you are from a different religion/sect than they are and are sure that you will burn in hell because their religious figure told them so (beware: they try to lure you in by their flawed reasoning and hypnotic spells)
  • The super models: who have the decency to wake up at 5:00 AM each morning to apply full make-up, get fitted into an evening gown and wear the highest heals imaginable to an 8:00 AM Biology lecture.
  • The perverts: who cannot hear a sentence containing the words "hard, wood, come, etc.." without breaking out into laughter or saying "that's what she said"
  • The graduate students: who are slaves to their GA professors, won't be seen in sunlight and usually spend their nights guarding their experiments in the lab or correcting student exams.
  • The activists: whose only purpose from coming to university is to promote their desired goals (be it from anti-secularism, anti-homosexuality, pro-homosexuality, health insurance, tuition increase, civil marriage etc...) which sometimes turns the area around West Hall into a line of beggars just waiting to be fed.
  • The backstabbers: who show to your face that they are God's angels on earth and they are your truest friends but go around bitching about you behind your back or creating rumors because they are just too jealous and they have nothing better to do.
  • The drama queens (and kings): "OMG I haven't studied anything for this exam" OR "the exam was sooo freakin hard, I'm gonna fail so bad" and eventually get one of the top grades and be on the honor-list.
  • The "serious business" types: especially those guys who come to class everyday dressing like my grandpa in flannel shirts and leather shoes because they are trying to give the impression that they are serious and professional.  
  • The comedians: and this is currently the trend - if you suck at everything you do, become a comedian. No that they are even remotely funny anyway!
  • The lesbian feminists: who write love letters to other girls in your poetry class and think that you don't know what's going on. 
  • The athletes: who wear fur jackets on nylon shorts in winter and jog shirtless around campus in summer while skipping classes because they are just THAT hot.
I think that's about enough for now, although I think I can come up with much more (like the enthuastic engineers and the tech wiz-kids). What else have I missed? Add your favorite types of AUB students in the comment box and I'll be adding the best ones to the list.

UPDATE: Of course there are other types of students that may not be mentioned above. I have just mentioned the ones that come first to mind, I see most frequently, or the most that have left a long-lasting impression. If you are just going to spread your hate in the comment box, I'd appreciate it if you take it somewhere else.

Readers' contributions:

  • The Jafeters: who reserve their chairs & tables for the whole semester [at AUB's main Library, Jafet], and go there daily from 8am-12am [by @alijizi]
  • The programmers: who think they can make all professions obsolete by writing a program. [by Rami H.]
  • Engineers: They start pulling all-nighters from their first semester to work on their 100,000 projects due at the end of every semester. They also always argue with the premeds stating that they are actually smarter whereas the premeds only sit around memorizing bio books. [by Daisy]

Comments

  1. some are true, some are really lame stereotypes which I've never seen them around campus.
    Ps. the people who come at 7 aren't there to socialize, they're there to find parking.

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  2. you're so lame it's not even funny. apparently you haven't been around campus much in your so called four years.

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  3. @Anonymous 7:20 PM
    Well if you haven't seen them, it doesn't mean that they do not exist. Besides, if my class is at 2:00 I'd rather take my chances with parking rather than coming at 7:00 AM.

    @Anonymous 8:45 PM
    I'm glad you could identify with at least one of them... And yes, I am on campus every single day and I've seen all the types I mentioned above.

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  4. So for my undergrad, I was a Westie at first (I totally went to AUB at 7am just to hang out). Towards the end of undergrad I was more a Fiskie (also known as the "yo-yos."). But I was secretly a premed the whole time.

    As for my MA, I was a mix between an activist an graduate assistant haha.

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  5. i was the overachiever, maingater and " jafeteer" ( if there was one) in undergrad days :P But now am the grad student!!!!!!....damn it! where did i go wrong? :/ :P:P


    loved the post btw :):) ahhh AUB <3 ..

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  6. hahaha this is hilarious!! and kinda true :p some students are more than one at the same time. I think I'm a cafet frenchie, bb addict and overachiever at the same time ^^ maybe sometimes drama queen :$

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  7. @Daisy @Pearl you also qualify as a campus icon -- don't you think? :P

    @Christine I'm glad you like it and you could identify with them :)

    @Pearl I think its pretty clear which one(s) I am :P

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  8. THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO ACCURATE WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE IS AN LAU STUDENT!
    But can I just make an addition to internations : the Lebanese internationals who are surrounded with a posse of the lame pretentious Lebanese wannabe kind.

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  9. Aww...Hijazi, I'm so flattered ;). I was in AUB for 1/2 a decade, lol.

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  10. hahah hijazi :) ya perhaps. i ll take this a compliment :P
    i ll be entering my 6th year in 2012 :$:$:$

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  11. you forgot the annoying, insecure, anti-social attention seeking bloggers who have nothing good to say about anyone else ;)

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  12. This is hilarious! Just a few days ago, Gino was explaining all of these stereotypes to me.

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  13. Someone must've left the zoo gate open!

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  14. @Danielle I'm glad you like it :)

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  15. Not all bloggers are the type Hussein defined, but this blogpost is sadly verifying his point. Some stereotypes exist, others are way exaggerated. Seriously dude, hating others don't get you anywhere

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  16. actually, i agree with Hussein: maybe before labeling everyone else around u in such a condescending way, u should commit some time to a healthy dose of introspection, Moudz ;)

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  17. man fouad w hussein 3am yestelmouk... and btw ma3oun 7a2 ... w gino ma bi ti2ak ... w hek . Amjad

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  18. You know "Moudz", many of those stereotypes you talked about, they do exist. But they don't make up this huge percentage that a typical non-AUB student reader would actually think they are.
    You ask what huge percentage I talk about? Well, I talk about those that actually come to AUB and work their asses off and realize that this is NOT a cheap education to get and would go the whole nine yards to secure a decent future for them. I've probably done at least half of them, sitting at West Hall, Main Gate, Fisk Hall, over achieved, clubbed, and more. Is there really anything wrong with that? It's part of the AUB experience my friend, enjoy it instead of hating on it.

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  19. i'm sure that nooone knows the AUB more than you do! Loved the post, especially that I know now to which categories you belong :p

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  20. Everyone who posted above Misho do belong to a category or more to some extent. And there is no hating on anyone, this is merely a satirical exploration of different types of students that not only exist in AUB, but in other universities as well. The only hate here is your unfortunate comments :)

    @Misho thanks, I'm glad you like it :)

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  21. Haha, that's a cool post. Some of these are true and others are in fact stereotypes. I used to love to hang out in the garden in front of the cafeteria, just to study outside while eating, and believe it or not, play with the cats. Then it became invaded with over religious one sided political conversations so I stopped. Speaking of cats, you should have added that category :P
    I was a westie for a while, and I <3 AUB Frenchies.

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  22. I dont think there is anything wrong with this post. Yes some are exaggerated, but they do represent some students that attend AUB. He isnt criticizing them, or ridiculing them. Alot of students, current and past such as myself also use these words. I was a fiskian, although not like it is explained here, our group was normal, not hippie, nor high on anything, but we did call ourselves fiskians/fiskies. I dont see why some of are offended by what he wrote. There is alot of ridicule bout aub students, that is much worst than this.

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  23. I don't know why everyone is assuming Hijazi is "hating" on anyone. He never said he hated them. Not to mention, the fact of the matter is, most people have their parents paying for their tuition and that is why some people work hard (to honor their parents) and that's why others waste their education. If someone happens to point it out, good for them.

    Great post :)

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  24. you forget the lower campus students. They live in different world

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  25. Like! very like! as a 96 grad I agree with Joseph that everything is part of the AUB experience... something everyone lives enough to remember and wish to enjoy once again :)

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  26. @Moudz: We want to know in which categories you belong to! :p

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  27. What about engineers? Don't they get their own category?

    Engineers: They start pulling all-nighters from their first semester to work on their 100,000 projects due at the end of every semester. They also always argue with the premeds stating that they are actually smarter whereas the premeds only sit around memorizing bio books.

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  28. JAZI.....I ADORE IT...and besides i agree with you...i have seen all THOSE types they exist and there are soo many moree :D...

    Great job, funny piece and i just love you tonnes

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  29. I was the OVERACHIEVER, BBADDICT, PERVERT,A Westie once, a Fiskie sometimes, a Maingater, and also an underachiever in my last smester :P loool....
    many moree

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  30. I hate the person that designed this website...it took at least 10 mins for my eyes to re-calibrate to normal vision. I'm a designer, and yes I fit the stereotype that you set on us because, at least in this case, it's true. Learn some design basics to spare yourself from permanently damaging your eyes, and our's of course..

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  31. Thanks for putting what I wrote about engineers! :)

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  32. Thanks to everyone who liked it, I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)

    @Amin take it up with blogger -- its their design

    @Ribal yet another person who creates a blog just to comment about one of my posts. I must be getting better at getting on people's nerves. All I have to say is "yalle mesh 3ejbo ma ye2ra" and "some people need to get a sense of humor."

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  33. Not that I have any intention of proving anything, because after all .. it's you... but I moved my blog to wordpress :) In case you haven't noticed it has existed for a while

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  34. Seriously this was a very good read, i keep coming back to it. guys this piece isnt meant to pinpoint fingers at anyone..come on its hillarious..sense of humour anyone?
    besides i personally almost have been one of each description at every phase. if anything all those descriptions simply describe a typical aub student on a regular day. and its not a negative thing.

    Hamoudi i think you should keep writing because ur blogs always make me smile <3

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  35. The architecture students who whine about how overloaded they are and try to make it a point about how many overnights they go through. Actually, they spend those overnights socializing and realize at 5 AM that they have an assignment due in 3 hours.

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  36. the graduate enslaved GAs :(

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  37. Off zone smokers: trying to smoke 1 meter+ the smoking area

    Video addict (mostly at ADA cafett): watching youtube, or how I met your mother during breaks

    Anglo/Leb: pretending not to know arabic and speaking english all the time just because they are at AUB...

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  38. Loved the post btw and some people need to have a sense of humor
    keep on the good work...

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  39. amazing post :)

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  40. The nursing students: You never see them on campus because they spend their entire day either at the hospital or in the SON. If you ever bump into one they would be wearing pyjamas/scrubs

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  41. Great article :D Every single word in it is true! You might want to add examples of people who hang out on the lower campus

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  42. Some of which may be true, this is still obnoxious. You need to get laid dude. Or get a life?

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  43. Can someone please explain to me what's with the lower campus thing? Thanks.

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  44. First of all i found this very amusing and somewhat true :) I fit some of the categories mentioned, currently i am "The zoo keepers"?!? We actually call ourselves the zoolanders :P What you wrote about them used to be true, but you need to update that information.. since we took over the place, it has changed to the worse :) anyways nice blog

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  45. BRAVO !! WELL SAID !!!
    LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE !!

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  46. Most of these people you spoke badly about are way better than you. At least they don't offend people just to get hits on their blogs.

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  47. I came across this blog by coincidence and I read this amazing article. You have x-rayed my mind with the same thoughts I had about AUB students.I am not an AUB student though.
    I relay all of these types for one reason, these people probably don't work, the only job they have is "Professional" student. for those who are opposing your blog, i would say ' Don't take things personal'.:)

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  48. Everything is pretty much perfect. But i need to add one thing to the main gate people. Not all of them play cards. Most of them go there for a cigarette while being loyal to abu Naji's food and drinks

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  49. I've enjoyed every word of it. Coming from an analytic background, I have enjoyed reading the psychographics that depicts a real vision of characteristics that makes you ask this question: Am I in this? Who I can relate to? After all, we are not the same, but we can be characterized in group/s that establishes same activities which we can relate or be identified with.

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  50. Lol sounds a lot like AUD with a difference in environmental factors
    Kotait

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  51. And there are those who graduated and have plenty of free time, so they fill it up by talking trash about other people. You might wanna add that up under Hijazi category

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  52. =S So much hate..Jeez

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  53. Completely true.Just add the programmer who live in the lab that come to aub at 8 am and then play ra2 and counter-strike at 12 o clock midnight!

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  54. Haha awesome! U forgot a very important category though, the keyboard warriors, or what is known as the aub guru fighters..be creative on this one;)

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  55. I am a graphic design student and that is so NOT true. Not a single one of us talks like that. Get your facts straight.

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  56. You forgot the Nursing students who almost never see sunlight, who other students don't know where their faculty exists and who know aubmc floors by heart but still get lost in certain parts of aub

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